“I cannot be happy until…” is a narrative women are constantly overwhelmed by. Even if they are only slightly overweight they cannot start to be happy until their bodies fulfill a particular ‘type’ or a physicality that is satisfying to the male gaze (“the Patriarchy”). Even if women’s bodies did conform to every ideal of beauty that exists, there would still be a problem, because women are taught that they are not enough. Fatness is an easy and very visible way to point out how women continue to fail to please society. How they fail to please the heterosexual male gaze. How they fail to live up to unrealistic expectations. Even enlightened feminists feel pressure to conform—all the time. This is because “there is no way to separate what you desire from the Patriarchy, and from Capitalism” (Rachel Thorn).
I cannot be happy until… (2016) is an audiovisual work. Sound component at the link: https://soundcloud.com/user309308234/i-cannot-be-happy-until2016